Assalamualaikum.
Baju. Gambar. Mimpi. Everything around.
;)
Tuhan tahu.
Assalamualaikum
Saturday 21 December 2013
Friday 6 December 2013
Beloved
Assalamualaikum.
She is sick. Now.
Allah, save her. Give me the opportunity to look after her.
Allah, please. Lindungi dia.
Aamiin.
*wish i can go home right now*
#teardrops
Assalamualaikum.
She is sick. Now.
Allah, save her. Give me the opportunity to look after her.
Allah, please. Lindungi dia.
Aamiin.
*wish i can go home right now*
#teardrops
Assalamualaikum.
Tuesday 3 December 2013
Dewasa ini..
Assalamualaikum.
*entri ni dah terbengkalai berminggu2, so maybe tak hot la cite BUT do enjoy! :)*
Hai. Kali ni nk tulis lagi pasal diri sendiri. Though, mmg la selalunya pon tulis pasal diri sendiri.
Semalam aq termimpi kau. *Senyum tiga saat* Rasa sebak gak la. Sikit lagi nak nanges. Ahah.
Tak sangka la akhirnya jadi gini. Aq dah agak relationship ni mungkin akan jadi mcm ni since the first perangai yg aq buat tu.
Tapi aq ketepikan. Sebab aq sayang relationship ni. Dah nak dekat 6 tahun kot.
Dan aq tak pernah rapat dgn sesiapa selama ni.
So, aq ni ada satu sifat. Characteristic. Kriteria. Yang aq rasa ada kat aq je. Kot. Yang membezakan aq dgn org lain.
Sebab setiap orang tu ada sifat, kriteria, perangai, characteristic yg melainkan kau dgn org lain. Kalau sains kata, your own unique gene/DNA.
Aq. Oversensitive. Sensitif yang melampau.
Yang mana, sifat tu ada baik dan buruknya.
Baiknya, sebab aq dpt detect kalau org tu ada masalah. Ada perkara yg merungsingkan dia. N, in sha Allah aq dpt tolong. Dapat la jugak kot pahala free. :D
Buruknya. Ha! Ni yang panjang sikit citenya.
Bila aq dah close to someone. Or rasa someone tu close to me, aq akan cepat rasa dia tu part of me. Or part of my family. Dan bila jd cmtu, aq akan rasa bergantung dgn dorg. Dan bila aq rasa bergantung kat dorg, aq akan jd lebih sensitif dgn dorg.
Semua benda dorg kene bgtau aq. N semua benda aq akan bgtau dorg. So, kalau one side tk gtau apa2, mesti aq akan rasa down. N, this is where everything begin.
Beberapa minggu yg lepas, terwujudnya hari yang, in sha Allah aq takkan lupakan smp bila2, sbb hari tu lah, pada 21 tahun yg lepas, aq wujud kat dunia ni.
So, i've been expected wishes from my several close people. My fam, him, and the threes that i've been acknowledge them as my other part of me.
Sadly, I just got from the former two. N sadly, coz I've been too expected, too berharap, that they will remember me. Coz I didn't forget theirs once I know their birthdate.
Tertunggu tunggu jugak la hari tu. Dari midnight first, smp la midnight dh nak habis. Tapi xde sorg pon drpd tiga tu yg wish. So, I said, 'lucky me, huh?'
Then, few days after. Aq tahu dua org tu had met. N they enjoy themselves. N I didn't know that till i saw the pic. Which is hurt me the most cuz my date was on it. N hurt me more cuz i was uninvited together. Or been mentioned about the gathering. Heh. Stupid me.
That time. Fuhhh. Really make me speechless, terdiam, terkedu. How come? How come boleh lupa? Few sec later, mulelah rasa sedih, kecewa, marah, down, semua2 nya lah yang negative tu.
Tho, they still wished me. 2 of them. 1 missing. Taktau la saje je ke. Or dia memang pesen tak wish2 org ni. Rasanya yg latter tu. So, aq pon memandai la buat keputusan.
Sbb aq rasa cam. Disisih? Dipinggir? Entahlah. Tu mungkin perasaan aq. So, before merebak jadi benda lain, aq buat that decision yg effect dia smp bila2 aq takkan lupa. N in sha Allah aq takkan ulang sbb tak mungkin aq akan ada lagi 'baik' tu lagi lepas ni.
So, I've been down for about 1-2 weeks. Sumorang sini perasan. Aq pon perasan yg dorang perasan aq cmtu.Tapi aq diam. Masa tu aq just nak diam je. Just nk sorang je. Aq malas nk ckp. Takde mood. Tambah pulak pening dgn 3 program berturut dalam 3 minggu. Mmg takde masa nk pikir org lain. Pikir emo sendiri je.
So, satu hari tu,aq nampak la former schoolmate aq post something kat fb. N aq save n post pulak kat insta. N yg gurl tu marah. Of coz la marah kalau tetiba kawan jauh, tak cakap apa2. remove dr semua media yg ada. Kalau aq pon, maybe aq akan react cmtu. Nk balas, tp dah dikata
The reason aq menjauhkan diri. May be called as merajuk or terasa or oversensitive or marah tak bertempat or whatever you wanna called.
TAPI. Aq jadi camni sbb aq tahu siapa aq. Aq tahu apa akan jadi kalau aq terus diam n biar. Aq tahu aq takkan mampu kawal lagi diri aq kalau benda yg serupa dgn skrg jadi lagi kat aq. So, drpd berulang kali rasa sakit, baik decide skrg kan? Tho, it hurt both side. Or maybe just my side only. :)
I've been emo for about 2 weeks n frankly, till this time still emo sbb susah nk lupa benda yg dah terjadi. Lagi susah sbb aq yg start. N aq yg end it. But aq pikir positif. In the end, we all will be alone right? No one beside. Even your fam. N fikir sumorang skrg dh busy. Dah tade mase utk org lain. Masa utk diri sendiri pon tah kemana mana, walau ada syaiton cuba nk burukkan pemikiran aq waktu tu. Takpe, takpe. Positif.
N now aq pon meneruskan la hari2 mcm biasa tanpa ada yg 'baik' disisi. Mungkin yg wujud lepas2 ni hanya 'biasa'. Tiada 'rapat' or 'baik' lagi dah. Sebab aq tahu apa akan jadi pada dorg kalau aq 'baik' or 'rapat'.
So there you are. Selesai. Finish. Panjang entri kali ni sbb ni yg terpaling mmberi kesan. Yg effect dia smp skrg tak habis lagi. Bila nak habis? *angkat bahu*
#loneranger #forever Assalamaulaikum.
*entri ni dah terbengkalai berminggu2, so maybe tak hot la cite BUT do enjoy! :)*
Hai. Kali ni nk tulis lagi pasal diri sendiri. Though, mmg la selalunya pon tulis pasal diri sendiri.
Semalam aq termimpi kau. *Senyum tiga saat* Rasa sebak gak la. Sikit lagi nak nanges. Ahah.
Tak sangka la akhirnya jadi gini. Aq dah agak relationship ni mungkin akan jadi mcm ni since the first perangai yg aq buat tu.
Tapi aq ketepikan. Sebab aq sayang relationship ni. Dah nak dekat 6 tahun kot.
Dan aq tak pernah rapat dgn sesiapa selama ni.
So, aq ni ada satu sifat. Characteristic. Kriteria. Yang aq rasa ada kat aq je. Kot. Yang membezakan aq dgn org lain.
Sebab setiap orang tu ada sifat, kriteria, perangai, characteristic yg melainkan kau dgn org lain. Kalau sains kata, your own unique gene/DNA.
Aq. Oversensitive. Sensitif yang melampau.
Yang mana, sifat tu ada baik dan buruknya.
Baiknya, sebab aq dpt detect kalau org tu ada masalah. Ada perkara yg merungsingkan dia. N, in sha Allah aq dpt tolong. Dapat la jugak kot pahala free. :D
Buruknya. Ha! Ni yang panjang sikit citenya.
Bila aq dah close to someone. Or rasa someone tu close to me, aq akan cepat rasa dia tu part of me. Or part of my family. Dan bila jd cmtu, aq akan rasa bergantung dgn dorg. Dan bila aq rasa bergantung kat dorg, aq akan jd lebih sensitif dgn dorg.
Semua benda dorg kene bgtau aq. N semua benda aq akan bgtau dorg. So, kalau one side tk gtau apa2, mesti aq akan rasa down. N, this is where everything begin.
Beberapa minggu yg lepas, terwujudnya hari yang, in sha Allah aq takkan lupakan smp bila2, sbb hari tu lah, pada 21 tahun yg lepas, aq wujud kat dunia ni.
So, i've been expected wishes from my several close people. My fam, him, and the threes that i've been acknowledge them as my other part of me.
Sadly, I just got from the former two. N sadly, coz I've been too expected, too berharap, that they will remember me. Coz I didn't forget theirs once I know their birthdate.
Tertunggu tunggu jugak la hari tu. Dari midnight first, smp la midnight dh nak habis. Tapi xde sorg pon drpd tiga tu yg wish. So, I said, 'lucky me, huh?'
Then, few days after. Aq tahu dua org tu had met. N they enjoy themselves. N I didn't know that till i saw the pic. Which is hurt me the most cuz my date was on it. N hurt me more cuz i was uninvited together. Or been mentioned about the gathering. Heh. Stupid me.
That time. Fuhhh. Really make me speechless, terdiam, terkedu. How come? How come boleh lupa? Few sec later, mulelah rasa sedih, kecewa, marah, down, semua2 nya lah yang negative tu.
Tho, they still wished me. 2 of them. 1 missing. Taktau la saje je ke. Or dia memang pesen tak wish2 org ni. Rasanya yg latter tu. So, aq pon memandai la buat keputusan.
Sbb aq rasa cam. Disisih? Dipinggir? Entahlah. Tu mungkin perasaan aq. So, before merebak jadi benda lain, aq buat that decision yg effect dia smp bila2 aq takkan lupa. N in sha Allah aq takkan ulang sbb tak mungkin aq akan ada lagi 'baik' tu lagi lepas ni.
So, I've been down for about 1-2 weeks. Sumorang sini perasan. Aq pon perasan yg dorang perasan aq cmtu.Tapi aq diam. Masa tu aq just nak diam je. Just nk sorang je. Aq malas nk ckp. Takde mood. Tambah pulak pening dgn 3 program berturut dalam 3 minggu. Mmg takde masa nk pikir org lain. Pikir emo sendiri je.
So, satu hari tu,aq nampak la former schoolmate aq post something kat fb. N aq save n post pulak kat insta. N yg gurl tu marah. Of coz la marah kalau tetiba kawan jauh, tak cakap apa2. remove dr semua media yg ada. Kalau aq pon, maybe aq akan react cmtu. Nk balas, tp dah dikata
"You don't have to reply. I don't need explanation. If you want, you would do that long time ago ain't?"So, tak ada la aq cakap apa. Skrg je la aq ckp. Tu pon sbb aq rasa nk ckp. Tp tak dituju khas utk sorg je. Aq ckp utk pengajaran dan peringatan aq in future.
The reason aq menjauhkan diri. May be called as merajuk or terasa or oversensitive or marah tak bertempat or whatever you wanna called.
TAPI. Aq jadi camni sbb aq tahu siapa aq. Aq tahu apa akan jadi kalau aq terus diam n biar. Aq tahu aq takkan mampu kawal lagi diri aq kalau benda yg serupa dgn skrg jadi lagi kat aq. So, drpd berulang kali rasa sakit, baik decide skrg kan? Tho, it hurt both side. Or maybe just my side only. :)
I've been emo for about 2 weeks n frankly, till this time still emo sbb susah nk lupa benda yg dah terjadi. Lagi susah sbb aq yg start. N aq yg end it. But aq pikir positif. In the end, we all will be alone right? No one beside. Even your fam. N fikir sumorang skrg dh busy. Dah tade mase utk org lain. Masa utk diri sendiri pon tah kemana mana, walau ada syaiton cuba nk burukkan pemikiran aq waktu tu. Takpe, takpe. Positif.
N now aq pon meneruskan la hari2 mcm biasa tanpa ada yg 'baik' disisi. Mungkin yg wujud lepas2 ni hanya 'biasa'. Tiada 'rapat' or 'baik' lagi dah. Sebab aq tahu apa akan jadi pada dorg kalau aq 'baik' or 'rapat'.
So there you are. Selesai. Finish. Panjang entri kali ni sbb ni yg terpaling mmberi kesan. Yg effect dia smp skrg tak habis lagi. Bila nak habis? *angkat bahu*
#loneranger #forever Assalamaulaikum.
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